He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize