The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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