I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Are my feet made of real feet?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
