It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
