Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
