Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize