Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am one with the molecules
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
