I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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