Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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