The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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