Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
