Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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