Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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