Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
