if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
