Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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