You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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