I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
