We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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I need to sanitize my soul.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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