he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
false alarm. still invincible.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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