No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize