Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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