lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
