yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
