its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
