hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
