forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
