Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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