you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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