I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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