The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
