I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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