I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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