I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
