I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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