Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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