when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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