We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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