You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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