I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
