accomplished twins. life is a go
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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