drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
