it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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