am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
