Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
