think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
