i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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