That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
