I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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