I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
