When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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