I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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