Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
