It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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