So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A+ Viking dick
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
