No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
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A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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