Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
