guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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