Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
