pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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