two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
