Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
