I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
