I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
