After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its not stalking. its research.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
